Update from Annie- May 31, 2012

Thank you, thank you, thank you...we have felt covered by your prayers this week!  I started my new chemo regime on Tuesday and so far it is going well.  Since both drugs in this regime were part of my presurgical treatment, I was well medicated for side effects.  This infusion takes about 4 hours.  So far the nausea has been mild and controllable, and the cold sensitivity is manageable.  God is good!!!

Our appointment with the Palliative Care doctors was incredible.  Again, thank you for your prayer cover.  We met with two different doctors for 2 1/2 hours.  Unbelievable!!!  They we so kind and compassionate, listened so carefully, and were so encouraging.  And....we have a plan, which is so much what I needed.  It may take a couple of weeks to "tweak" but we are hopeful.  I will wear a Fentanyl patch for long acting pain relief, and right now we trying to determine the dosage of that.  Then I will use a short acting narcotic for "break through" pain.  The goal being that I will need very little of that.  As the chemo drugs begin to "do their thing", and shrink the lymph nodes, (and we do know that these two drugs were successful in the past), the need for pain medication will lessen.  It has been a rather "interesting" few days as I am very susceptible to the short term pain meds and have been living in a fog and had to make a choice between the fog and the pain...but today is a new day, and a better day, praise God!

We have so much to praise God and be thankful for:
-that God is ever present
-that God is faithful
-that we can call out to Him with joy and thanksgiving, in pain, in fear
-for a new chemo regime that I seem to be able to tolerate
-for an incredible appointment with Palliative Care and a plan
-for relief from the pain
-family and friends who continue to love and support us...phone calls, visits, encouraging emails
-faithful prayer warriors

And much we are praying for:
-that God would continue to be glorified
-that the setbacks of the past week would not cause our faith, or the faith of anyone, to waiver
-that we continue to trust in God's plan
-that my new chemo regime would kill EVERY cancer cell in my body, shrinking the lymph nodes, reducing the pain, and preventing the spread of the cancer to any other nodes, or anywhere else
-that we could get my pain in control
-that God would bind Satan out.
-hope 
-peace
-my family...this is an incredible difficult path to be walking, draining physically, mentally, and spiritually.  Please pray that each would be protected, supported, loved and cared for.

This week I have experienced incredible disappointment, felt incredible hope, times of despair and times of peace, but I have never felt alone, God has prepared a way for me, and is walking, or carrying me, each step along the way...I could not do this without Him, and without each of you.  Thank you's do not seem to be enough, but please know what a blessing you all are to me, and know that I am praying for you as well, that you too would be blessed by our big, strong, mighty God.  You are Christ to me.

As my pain gets under control, I would look forward to short visits...a cup of coffee...a chance to get caught up on what is going on in your lives....to share a prayer....to get/give a hug.  More on that in the next week or two!!! 

Refuge Reminder

My mom printed this photo out a few months back to share with my hurting heart...she wrote "Under these wings, your refuge...". I have it hanging a a visual reminder in a place I look often.

If you look closely...there are two baby birds snugly wrapped under the momma bird's wings...reminding us all of our Great Heavenly Father's "wings" and the incredible refuge they provide.

Praying today for refuge from pain and for God's ultimate glory.

Thank you for rallying alongside us.

Be blessed.

Prayer Request- May 30, 2012

Good Morning.

I just received a phone call from my mom...asking for prayer as she and my dad are headed to meet with a Palliative Care doctor. 

Her immediate request is that the Palliative Care Team would have ideas to help with managing her pain. We are uncertain as to what is causing the pain, but don't believe that it is related to last week's stomach issues. There is a chance that the swollen nodes (due to the cancer) could be causing the pain. Her prayer is that the pain would be managed to a tolerable point as she (and all of us) wait for the chemo drugs to do their work on shrinking the cancerous cells. We know that the cancer is receptive to these drugs as they are some of the same drugs as before...they simply don't work overnight as we wish they could. 

Today's Praises...
-A new day!
-Meeting with the Palliative Care Team
-That the chemo is in her body and that the infusion went as well as we had hoped (My mom promised to send an update about yesterday something tonight or tomorrow)

Today's Prayers...
-That the Palliative Care Team would be patient and compassionate
-That the Palliative Care Team would have creative and constructive ideas for pain management that can get started today
-That my mom's pain would be managed and she would experience relief today (within the next 24 hours as the chemo side effects will probably kick in sometime tomorrow)
-That Satan would be bound...and that my mom and dad's hearts would be protected from fear
-That the chemo drugs would work and the cancerous cells would be eradicated
-That we may all be able to enjoy some sweet time together
-For peace that roars and rushes like a raging river
-That God would continue to be glorified throughout this journey

Last night my mom mentioned the song "I've got peace like a river...I've got peace like a river...I've got peace like a river in my soul" running through her head all day yesterday...we pray for that peace to be restored!

Just this morning I read this in Linda Dillow's book A Deeper Kind of Calm: Steadfast Faith in the Midst of Adversity ...
Hebrews 11:1 reminds us of what faith is..."Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen"..."Faith is holding God's hand as you walk through the fog. When you can't see, when you don't understand because fog blurs your vision, look beyond the fog to the Expert in Fog Removal. Make a secret choice to rust God's way...As we journey through the 'valley of weeping' (fog), we cannot see the entire picture...on this side of eternity, all the symphonies are unfinished, all stories are incomplete. We only see the events surrounding us. Our myopic vision keeps us from seeing "the other side of the story" the conclusion that we will not understand until we see His face" [in Heaven].

This struck me because we all feel like we are in a fog right now...so uncertain of this new bend in the road as we continue this journey...remembering that God's Hand is leading us (even carrying us...specifically my mom) provides such comfort.

Thank you for going before our Heavenly Father on my mom's behalf...I am certain that every one's knees will become calloused as this journey continues.

Also, on the blog is a photo that my mom gave me a few months back...reminding me of our Ultimate Shelter...if you look close, there are two baby birds snugly wrapped underneath their momma's wings...this morning I am struck by the reminder that that is where my mom (our family and each of you) are as well...He is our Ultimate Refuge.

May your day and hearts be blessed.

Update- May 29, 2012

Thank you for all of your emails...we are working to sift through each of them and hope to respond at some point. Please don't hesitate to respond even if you don't receive a quick response back...your words and prayers provide such a tangible gift of the support each of you is providing through reading these updates and praying on our family's behalf. Thank you.

May each of you be blessed for your continued prayers. My mom was discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon...thanks to our gracious God, your prayers, a lot of determination and some powerful medication, my mom's tummy started to figure things out about mid-day yesterday. The weekend was nothing like any of us anticipated, but yesterday afternoon was beautiful and provided a sweet backdrop for resting on the couch before mustering up the energy to get in the car and head back towards the cities.

When I spoke with my mom this morning, she sounded good...well rested and ready to face today. She told me that she felt like she was putting on her armor and ready to go in for battle as her chemo appointment is still scheduled for noon today. Would you please join us in praying for her appointment? She will have a chance to meet with her oncologist (her quarterback) to talk about this weekend and learn what she might be able to anticipate with this new chemo drug & regimen and then have her infusion afterwards.

Our praises today...

-For this new day!

-For my mom's discharge from the hospital

-For her tummy's willingness to wake up and finally get moving

-For her body's (and heart's) perseverance this weekend

-For the nurses/doctors at the hospital near the lake

-For the little bit of time spent enjoying the lake

-For her willing attitude to go into today with "get up and go fight"

Our prayers today...

-That her body would be ready to fight and accept the chemo with grace...that the side effects would be minimal (and well managed) to none

-That her oncologist and the nursing staff administering the drugs would be patient, compassionate and willing/wanting to answer all of my mom's questions

-That the chemo would work...that it would go to battle and annihilate all of the cancerous cells!!!!!

-That peace would transcend my mom's, dad's and each of our hearts as we begin to climb this next peak on this journey together

-That God would continue to be glorified

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am you God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Be blessed.

 

Prayer Needed - May 27, 2012

Good Morning,
We hope you all are enjoying this long and hopefully relaxing holiday weekend.

This morning we covet your prayers as the weekend for my mom has not shaped into the weekend any of us expected (or hoped). On Friday, her stomach hurt for the majority of the day and kept her on the couch with her heating pad and pain medication. We enjoyed dinner together as a family before heading up to the cabin. She didn't feel up to eating much, but it was so good to sit around the table together. Upon arriving at the cabin, she headed to bed because the pain had gotten so severe. After a sleepless night (for my mom and dad) they decided early on Saturday morning (after consulting with an on-call doctor in the cities) to head to the local hospital thinking she might have a bowel obstruction. Upon arriving the ER doctor suggested several encouraging methods to get her tummy working as a CT scan was done showing no obstruction but some compaction...both she and my dad felt incredibly encouraged and she was content to stay at the hospital to catch up on rest and wait for the meds to work. As of this morning, she (and each of us) are still waiting for the meds to work.  The pain meds are making her quite groggy and don't seem to be taking care of all of the pain. The meds for her constipation/bowel wake up call, have yet to do their job leaving us in what my dad calls "limbo land'.  The doctor is scheduled to do rounds around lunch time and our prayer is that he will have a better plan or be able to find a comfortable window to get my mom back to the cities and in the care of her doctors. My dad mentioned needing a 'quaterback' right now, someone who will create a good solid plan to get my mom back on her feet so that her body is ready to start the chemo on Tuesday.

We are truly in the trenches of this journey this weekend...not understanding why, but believing that God's hand is with us...carrying my mom and each of us.

Thank you for walking alongside us...for taking time out of this holiday weekend to rally on my mom's behalf as we pray for so many different things.

May you be blessed.

Update from Annie- May 24

Good morning. I received this update from my mom and her words are far better than mine would be, her heart continues to humble us all. From now on, we'll send prayer requests/updates from this email account (prayingforanniem@gmail.com), we'll also continue to update the blog (www.prayingforanniem.blogspot.com). Using this email address will help keep each of your responses organized to make sure my mom and dad are able to read each of them as they provide such encouragement and salve for our hearts. We will try our hardest to respond to your reply emails...if you don't hear from us, please keep sending them and know that we are grateful for your support, encouragement and prayers...we will respond when we are able. We continue to be so grateful for all of you, thank you for your prayers as this mountainous journey continues and we keep climbing and pray that God receives all the glory. Be blessed.

This morning I am praising God because He loves me, praising God that I am home, praising God for rest in my own bed, praising God for family and friends that love me.

I spent the last four days in the hospital at the University of Minnesota. I was admitted with severe stomach pain that could not be helped with some pretty powerful pain medications. In trying to find the cause of my pain another pancreatic CT scan was ordered. It showed some lymph nodes around my pancreas. A needle biopsy was performed on Tuesday and the biopsy indicated the presence of cancer. Certainly not the news we were hoping for. Once again, we find ourselves on our knees pleading with God for a MIRACULOUS CURE! On Tuesday I will begin a new cheomo regime of 5FU and Oxaliplatin. These drugs were part of my original chemo regimen and my tumor showed a good response then. We are praying that it will again.
Specifically we are praying for:
-a relief from the pain which ironically was not caused by the cancer
-an overwhelmingly positive response to the new chemo, that it would kill every cancer cell floating around my body
-that my body will tolerate the new chemo well
-strength for the journey
-that I can be enrolled in a clinical trial of oral 5FU and Ruxolinitirib (who names these drugs!!!) as soon as possible
-that a new drug, Minnelide, will be approved by the FDA for clinical trials, (sometime this fall), and I could be enrolled in that study
-for my family....this is an unexpected turn of events and we are all trying to wrap our minds around it
-that our faith would not waiver, that we would keep our eyes steadfastly on our Savior
-that we might not be consumed by fear, but instead be filled with a sense of God's perfect peace as we trust Him
-that we can walk this new journey with grace, and that God will be glorified.
-thanksgiving that pain took me to the ER and we found out about the reoccurrence now, instead of in July when my next scan was scheduled, buying precious time for treatment
-thanksgiving for the peace I do feel
-thanksgiving for my family who is rallying around me, supporting me and each other
-thanksgiving for each of you, precious prayer warriors who pray without ceasing on our behalf

We are heading to the lake this weekend, praying we come home filled with joy, happy memories, rested and ready to take the next steps. May your holiday weekend be filled with the same. Daily we are reminded how precious life is....and not to take even one moment for granted.

May each of you be blessed,
Ann

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness."

Thanks for your love and support during this long climb!

Answered Prayers!

I just received a call from my dad that my mom's biopsy was just completed! Yes, COMPLETED...today...not later this week. The interventional (not international...thanks to auto-spell correct) radiologist reported that the procedure went well. They went through her back with NO complications. The procedure could have been precarious in that they had to 'navigate' around several things to get into the area where the swollen nodes are located. They were able to get the tissue sample that they needed and have sent it off to pathology and we now wait, again, for the report. The radiologist said it could be 2-3 days before we hear anything even preliminary. As of now, my mom is resting. She will most likely be discharged in the morning, assuming everything goes to plan. My mom's chemo (which was supposed to take place today) has been rescheduled for Friday of this week. We are praying that she would be able to get her chemo as scheduled on Friday and that we would be able to celebrate GOOD & CLEAR news going into this holiday weekend.

Would you please join us in praising God..

-That the radiologist was available TODAY and had clear discernment as to how to proceed with the biopsy

-That the procedure went well

-That even the valet worker at the hospital noticed the praise music being played in the car when bringing it back from the parking lot and commented on how much he enjoyed hearing it (seriously...even in the smallest of ways, God's hand is in this situation)

Would you please join us in continuing to pray...

-That the nodes would miraculously be JUST swollen as a result of the narrowing of the pancreatic duct

-That the cancer would remain GONE

-That peace would transcend each of our understandings as this time of uncertainty and waiting is hard and wearing

-That as my parents wait that they may have sweet PEACE-FILLED time together

-That chemo would be able to continue on Friday

-That we may be able to celebrate a CLEAR report this weekend as we are planning to head up to the cabin for Memorial Weekend

-That God would continue to receive all the Glory

Several of you continue to share words that spur our hearts on, thank you thank you thank you, your prayers and encouragement are such a gift. May each of your hearts be blessed.

"You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name will lift up my hands. I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods with singing lips my mouth will praise you. On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you, your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63: 1-8

Every one of us...from the oldest to the youngest continues to be so grateful for all of your prayers...thank you for walking...rallying and cheering Annie on.

May you be blessed.

Tuesday Morning Request- May 22

I just spoke with my Dad and he asked me to ask each of you to pray specifically for my mom's upcoming biopsy.  The biopsy was thought to be scheduled this morning at 9am...which was about an hour ago. The nurse came in to my mom's room to relay the message that the are working with the international radiologist's schedule to fit my mom's biopsy in...with that said, it could be today sometime or later this week...we just don't know which is hard because it means more waiting. They are still uncertain as to how the biopsy will take place and hoping to gain more clarity as the day progresses.

Would you please join us in praying...
-That the international radiologist would be available TODAY and have clear discernment as to how to proceed with the biopsy
-That the nodes would miraculously be JUST swollen as a result of the narrowing of the pancreatic duct
-That the cancer would remain GONE
-That peace would transcend each of our understandings as this time of uncertainty and waiting is hard and wearing
-That as my parents wait that they may have sweet PEACE-FILLED time together
-That God would continue to receive all the Glory

One of your gracious hearts shared this truth that I thought I might include as a praise for all of your encouragement and support.  In response to my desire to pound on God's chest a friend wrote...

"Pound away. That chest is infinitely big. 

Be still, and know that I am God- Psalm 46:10

And as you settle into that thought it becomes more refined:

Be still, and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know
Be still
Be"

It is easy for the stillness of this time of waiting to be deafening...but we must remember that we are called to simply be still in trust & hope, no part of God's character has changed in the past 48 hours and nothing will cause it to change in the next...none of this is coming as a surprise to our Heavenly Father.

Until the next update...be blessed & thank you for praying!

Monday Night - May 21st

Today has been a long day. A long day of waiting. 

Tonight, my mom and dad learned some about the results of the CT scan preformed late last night. The scan revealed three lymph nodes that are swollen around her pancreas.  The swelling of the nodes leaves many questions, not many answers.  The doctor has determined that they will need to biopsy the nodes to discern what might be causing the swelling. A typical biopsy would be down the throat, for my mom, this isn't an option as a result of her surgery. The doctors are consulting with a gastrointestinal specialist to decipher what the next best avenue might be, most likely alaparoscopic procedure which we will probably learn about tomorrow. The doctor mentioned that the nodes could be swollen as a result of the narrowed pancreatic duct (which is our MAJOR PRAYER and hope) but wants to make sure every base is covered.

With all this said, we want to come to each of you again and humbly ask you to come before our Heavenly Father and pray...

-That the nodes would miraculously be JUST swollen as a result of the narrowing of the pancreatic duct
-That the cancer would remain GONE
-That my mom's doctor's would have discernment in choosing the best biopsy method(s)
-That peace would transcend each of our understandings as this time of uncertainty and waiting is hard and wearing
-That God would continue to receive all the Glory

I will be honest, as I am simply speaking for myself here... tonight I simply want to pound my hands against God's chest and yell "Why? Why? Why?" as this time of waiting feels rather reminiscent of last September when her initial diagnosis took place.  In feeling this way, and pleading the question "Why?" I am reminded of God's hand throughout this journey...

-How He made us aware of her need to initially go to the doctor with what seemed like a pesky stomach ache
-How He led her to the doctors and facilities that He did
-How the initial chemo provided an avenue to even get to surgery and shrunk the awful Goliath-like tumor
-How her surgeon got negative margins when removing the tumor
-How 30 of the 30 lymph nodes removed were clear!
-How He provided (and continues) to provide her with compassionate caregivers
-How He provided both familiar and new community who have rallied around her (and our entire family)...and who continue to do so
-How He allowed (and continues) you all to provide encouragement as you have shared your stories and been her/our cheerleaders
-How He is using this continually evolving journey to empathize with others walking through similar uncertainty
-How this journey is reminding our hearts of our ultimate yearning for Heaven where cancer (and no other fear or sickness) has any place!

Staying focused on such sweet glimpses of His goodness help drive the fear of uncertainty away and provide reminders of how precious each day really is.

Thank you for continuing to rally around my mom...we are so sorry for the lack of communication/updates... we were all basking in the joy of not having much to update.

Be blessed.

"They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear ;in the end they will look in triumph on their foes." Psalm 112:7-8

Prayer Request & Update

Good morning and happy start to this new week.

I apologize for the delay in sending updates...as there hasn't been too too much to update on since the last email my mom sent.

This morning, we would like to solicit prayer...as we're in the realm of waiting for answers again which can be so tedious and I will admit...disheartening.

In April, my mom went through her first round of scans post-surgery to determine what might be causing some serious pain in her upper abdominal area. To our relief and joy, the scan came back clear (in regard to any cancer) but did show that her Pancreatic Duct has narrowed as a result of some scar tissue leaving her doctors with the impression that that was the culprit for the pain. The solution to this 'problem' is surgery to place a stint to keep the duct open but not an option until late summer/early fall because of the infection risk that surgery would bring as she is still working through her preventative chemo regimen.  The oncologist did prescribe some enzymes to help with the pain hoping that they might help to ease her Pancreases job.  The enzymes along with strong pain medication have seemed to keep everything pretty manageable...that is until this weekend.

Unfortunately, this weekend, the pain got so uncontrollable that she was admitted (last night) to the hospital to have some more tests run to determine if there might be any other source for this pain. As of this morning, we don't have any answers and are simply waiting for tests to be run and results to come back. I think I can speak for everyone in our family by saying the waiting is hard as your mind/heart can and do go to places they shouldn't go.

Would you please join us in praying...
-For my mom's doctors as they work to detect what is causing her pain, that they may have the discernment to know what tests to run and cover every base possible
-For each of our hearts as we wait for results, for peace that transcends understanding
-For relief from the pain
-For the cancer to remain GONE!
-For God's continued glory as the journey continues

I just read this in Jesus Calling by, Sarah Young and thought I'd share as it provided such a tangible reminder to trust in God, our Provider, and not become overwhelmed and terrified by our problems...

"I, the Creator of the Universe, am with you and for you. What more could you need? When you feel some lack, it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level. I offer abundant Life.; your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything.
It is not so much adverse events that make you anxious as it is your thoughts about those events. Your mind engages in efforts to take control of a situation, to bring about the result you desire. Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves. Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life. The only remedy is to switch your focus from the problem to My Presence. Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do. I am the Lord!"

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:31-32

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

I promise to be in touch, thank you for continuing to join our family on this journey. May your day be blessed.