Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Update & Praise!!!! April 10, 2013

Praising God...my scan on Monday was clear, showing "no evidence of metastatic disease". We are indeed very thankful, and all honor and glory goes to God. I will continue with my current chemo regime indefinitely, and will begin to try a drug to relieve the tingling in my fingers and toes. My daughter has a friend who is a physical therapist in Texas. She said that in her practice, they have used electrical stimulation to encourage nerve growth and treat the numbness associated with peripheral neuropathy in diabetics. My oncologist is going to confer with the neurologists at the U of M to see if this might be something we could try, and if so, where I would get the treatment. We are praying for encouraging news on that. I have copied below a devotion I read this morning that really spoke to me. I walked out of the doctor's office yesterday discouraged that I would continue the chemo indefinitely. Yes, the devil was using his tools. I am alive, numb and tingly toes are a small price to pay. God didn't promise this would be an easy road. He wants me, and all of us, to put or faith and trust in Him. That is what I will do, TRUST HIM. I will have faith, and follow where He leads, completely believing that He loves me and will gently hold me in the palm of His hand. Thank you so much for your continued prayer, it is such a comfort and encouragement for me. My prayer for each of you is that each of you can put your faith and trust in the God who created us, and loves us beyond what we can imagine.

Blessings,
Annie
April 10, 2013
Got Faith?

Mary Southerland
Today’s Truth
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” (Psalm 23:4 NKJV)
Friend to Friend
The greenest grass is always found in the valley. Shepherds and sheep are well acquainted with the fact that both mountains and valleys are an inevitable part of life. Again, the shepherd is the one who has to figure out a way over the mountain and through the valley. If a sheep is injured, the shepherd must carry his sheep and tend to its wounds until they are healed and the sheep is ready to return to the fold. The shepherd’s whole world revolves around the safety and comfort of his sheep, even in the deepest valley.
Valleys are a certainty of life. Your job is eliminated. Your husband is having an affair, or your teenage daughter is pregnant. Financial pressure suffocates dreams, or the betrayal of a trusted friend inflicts a wound so deep and painful that you long for that valley of death. Each day is thick with fear, and your heart is filled with disbelief. The valley may suddenly be before you in a time of loneliness or in the shock of a dire medical diagnosis.
The death of a loved one can derail a life. The death of a long-held hope can plunge us into a slimy pit of despair and darkness. Dreams that have slowly died or relationships that have abruptly ended can leave us stranded and alone in our own personal valley of death. While valleys may come in all shapes and sizes, one thing is certain—valleys will come. That being said, we must ask and answer the question, “How can we deal with the valleys in life? We must respond with faith.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
It was advertised that the devil was putting his tools up for sale. When the day of the sale came, each tool was priced and laid out for public inspection. And what a collection it was. Hatred, envy, jealousy, deceit or pride…the inventory was treacherous. Off to one side was a harmless-looking tool priced higher than all the rest, even though it was obviously more worn than any other tool the devil owned. “What’s the name of this tool?” asked one of the customers. “That,” the devil replied, “is discouragement.” The customer asked, “But why have you priced it so high?” The devil smiled and explained, “Because discouragement is more useful to me than all the others. I can pry open and get inside a man’s heart with that tool when I can’t get near him with any other. It’s badly worn because I use it on almost everyone, since so few people know it belongs to me.”
Valleys are lined with disappointment and discouragement. Some people seem to thrive on adversity, emerging from their valley with greater strength and deeper faith. Others stumble and fall, giving in to discouragement and dropping out of the race. The difference in outcome is determined by the way we choose to handle discouragement.
We must respond to each valley with trust and faith. The word “trust” means “to lie helpless, face down” and is the picture of a servant waiting for his master’s command or a soldier yielding himself to a conquering general. “Heart” refers to “the center of one’s being.” In other words, to trust God completely means that from the very center of our being, from the very core of our existence, we trust Him, totally abandoning ourselves in childlike faith to Him and His plan. We come, holding nothing in our hands, pushing no agenda, with one word in our heart—“whatever!” “Whatever You want me to do, Lord, I will do. Whatever You want me to say, Lord, I will say. Whatever You want me to think, Lord, I will think. Whatever path You have for me, Lord, I will walk.”
If you are like me, you sometimes think you don’t have enough faith. The amount of faith is not nearly as important as the right kind of faith—faith in God alone. A mustard seed is small but can still take root and grow—just like faith. Faith is also like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it becomes. We must remember that faith doesn’t rest on what we have done but on what Christ has done. As Paul says, times of stress accentuate the presence and power of God.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love (Romans 5:3-5 nlt).
When the valleys come, we are tempted to abandon our faith and strike out in our own strength when what we should do is embrace our faith in God, look for our Shepherd, and follow Him.
The story is told of a shepherd who tried to persuade his sheep to cross a swiftly flowing stream. Since sheep are naturally afraid of rapidly running water, the shepherd couldn’t get them to cross. Then he had an idea. Picking up a lamb, he stepped with it into the river and carried it to the opposite shore. When the mother saw that the shepherd had safely led her lamb across the stream, she forgot her fear and stepped out in faith and into the rushing current. Soon, she was safely on the other side. The rest of the flock followed.
Faith rests in what Christ has already done on the cross and in our lives. Faith also hopes for what He will do for us in the future. Faith builds on the victories of yesterday to help us face the valleys of today and the questions about tomorrow. Faith in God is sure and certain, believing that God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do. When we believe that God will fulfill His promises, even though we can’t see a single promise materializing, we are exercising faith. Faith does not bypass pain. It does, however, empower us to deal with pain. Faith steps up to the bat and invites the opponent to throw his best pitch. Sometimes faith strengthens us, and other times, surprises us. Great faith is forged in the deepest valleys, beginning where our strength and power end.
Let’s Pray
Father, I want to thank You for being my Shepherd. Please teach me how to rest in Your care and trust You no matter how high the mountains or how deep the valleys in my life may be.
In Jesus’s name,
Amen.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Update & Request - April 7, 2013

 I just received this update and request from my mom and wanted to pass it on before the week gets started. Thank you so much for continuing to rally and pray as we BOLDLY come before our gracious Heavenly Father, our ultimate Healer!
 
 
"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10.

I hope you all had a blessed Lenten time and a joyous Easter celebration.  My extended family gathered at my sister's house.  We were missing our KC family of six, (soon to be seven!), my brother and his wife, and our youngest son and his wife and still there were 28 of us!  I love being surrounded by family, the shared stories, the "remember when's", the busyness of the next generation of little ones, shared food preparation, new and old traditions.  It was good, no.....excellent.  In the midst of all of this,  I am reminded that Jesus' death and resurrection is my hope.

I have felt well the last couple of months, gradually regaining strength and stamina.  I still battle fatigue and find my head hitting the pillow in the early evening.  I am able to sleep through the night most nights now which is a huge improvement.  My greatest difficulty is the peripheral neuropathy.  Although it seems to be an oxymoron, my hands and feet tingle constantly as if I had hit my "funny bone", and yet my fingers and toes are numb.  Go figure that one.  So, please join me in praying that over the months ahead, those symptoms would subside, and eventually go away completely.  I am reminded by my doctor that it took 16 months to get this way, and I need to allow an equal amount of time for it to go away.  With God's help, I am learning to me more patient.  Don't get me wrong, there have been tears of frustration, but I am grateful for what God, through chemo has accomplished.  I continue to strive to give Him all the glory and honor.  My family is very patient with me when I need help buttoning a button, zipping a zipper, opening a ziplock bag, writing/typing an e-mail or a letter, sending a text message.  We have had many chuckles about what I am not suppose to do, (use the oven, stove, microwave, iron, knives), and do anyway.  I am learning to adapt, and I am gaining a lot more understanding and compassion for those with similar or worse challenges.  I am alive, and that is what matters.  I can bring glory to God. I can offer up prayers of thanksgiving, and sing praises for all I can do, and small improvements along the way.  I can share my story and offer encouragement to others.  I can listen.  I am also thankful that spring is finally finding its way to the north country.  The snow is mostly gone, the breezes are warmer, the birds are returning and there songs are welcome.  I look forward to being able to walk outside in another few weeks.  We have celebrated March birthdays, a special four year old included.  April brings more birthdays including a special 2 year old.  In May we will celebrate even more family birthdays, and welcome our third grandchild and in June more birthdays and we will welcome our fourth grandchild.  With each celebration we give thanks for life, and all the promises that it brings.  Thank you God!!!

I am so grateful for your continued care, concern and prayer support.  I have a CT Scan tomorrow afternoon and will get results on Wednesday.  A little scheduling snafu will prevent us from having the results when I see the doctor on Tuesday morning.  We are planning to discuss options should the scan again be clear.  PLEASE join us in praying for a clear scan that shows NO EVIDENCE OF CANCER in my body.  We would also appreciate your prayers for wisdom, and peace as we make changes to my chemo regimen.

You all have been such faithful prayer warriors.  Thank you!  I am honored to be praying for some of you.  If there is a prayer you would like to share, I would be honored to pray for you.  God does hear each and every prayer we utter.
 
I wish you all a delightful spring.  As new life springs forth, baby animals are born, grass becomes green, leaves unfurl from tree branches, flowers push up through the soil may we each stand in awe of our God and his creation.

I pray that you will be blessed,
Annie

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Scan Update - January 15, 2013

Raising our hands, shouting it out, giving all glory and honor and praise to our mighty, merciful, healing God.   Knelling down, bowing in prayers of thanksgiving!   
 
My scan was clear....my doctor calls me stable, we call it a miracle!  Thank you so much for your prayers, there is no doubt God listens.

So now, what does this mean?  I have quite significant peripheral neuropathy, (I have no feeling in my fingers and toes), which is most likely caused by one of the two chemo drugs I was taking.  There is no way of knowing if this is permanent.  So, we will discontinue the chemo drug believed to be causing the side effect, which I have been taking for nearly twice as long as most patients, and continue indefinitely with the other drug that has fewer side effects.  We will wait 6-8 weeks to see is the neuropathy subsides, if not there are some drug and electrical stimulation therapies we could try.  One change at a time, I can be patient.  I will continue to see my oncologist monthly, and will have another scan in April. Our ongoing prayer is that there will be NO breakthrough...that the cancerous cells are indeed miraculously gone!

Please join my family and I as we praise God for His faithfulness, we have indeed been blessed, not by anything we did, but by a very gracious, loving God.  May you too be blessed!
Annie

Friday, January 11, 2013

Quick Update & Prayer Request 1.11.13

Happy New Year!
We hope that you and your families enjoyed a blessed and sweet Christmas together. Thank you for prayers and continued questions about how my mom is doing...you continue to be such an encouragement for which we are so grateful. My mom sent me the below update and prayer request this morning.  We are BOLDLY praying for God's continued hand of healing and to be honest, my heart (along with I'm sure others of ours) is praying against doubt and fear...that neither would creep in and that peace would overwhelm each of your hearts. Thank you for rallying around us, may each of your hearts be blessed!
Sara 
 
 
 
Psalm 40:10 "Be still and know that I am God" 
I apologize for the long lapse since my last update.  I continue to praise God for the miraculous healing and the clear CT scan.  The last round of chemo has been very difficult.  On Christmas Eve I was diagnosed with Influenza and had to postpone my chemo a week.  In an effort to stay on schedule, I had round 12 the next week.  Clearly it was a lot for this tired, battered body to handle, and I spent the better part of the next six days sleeping/dozing on the couch.  Which as God would have it, gave me ample time to pray for the miraculous healing  of a very dear friend's husband.  The neuropathy in my hands and feet continues to worse to the point that I have no feeling in my fingertips, toes, or balls of my feet.  I am thankful that this will go away when I am no longer taking on all of the chemo drugs.
 
We are praising God....as the flu epidemic continues to develop, currently there have been 27 deaths in my home state of Minnesota, We thank God for His protection.  I should have ended up in the hospital, I should have been battling for my life, but God laid His hand upon me.  I was able to be at home, I never had a raging fever, chills, aches, or any of the awful things that go with the flu.  I just had a miserable cough that turned into bronchitis, but not pneumonia.  I was able to take Tamiflu, which I believe helped immensely.  So, as you can see, God provided, protected, healed.
 
I do have one prayer request....I am scheduled for a CT scan on Monday.  The waiting is so hard, hence the verse, "Be still".....trust, have faith, believe.  Our prayer is that the scan will show no signs of cancer.  Please join me in asking our powerful, healing God for that.  My hope is that if the scan is clear, the chemo will be stopped, and I will begin to regain feeling in my hands and feet, gain strength, and resume some of the things I love to do.  This has not stopped me from loving on my grands, but I so would like to have more energy to really play with them, take them skiing, sledding, snow angel making, snow fort building, moonlight walking......God is teaching me to have patience, to rely on Him, and wait on His timing.
 
Thank you so much for your continued prayer support, when I can feel my fingers, I have many things I want to share with you.  God is at work....in my life and in yours.
 
Be blessed,
Annie   

Monday, January 7, 2013

HUMBLED!!!!

Just visited the Minneapolis Purple Ride Website and learned that our PRAYING FOR ANNIE M TEAM raised $9,669.00!!!!!!!!!!!

That is incredible, such a tangible reminder of the grace and support that continues to carry our family (and others like us) along on this journey!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

To God be the GLORY!!!!!

My mom's words below depict our hearts best...we are dancing and totally humbled and in awe of the great God we serve. Thank you for all of your prayers...for your continued encouragement and support...truly to God be the Glory!
 
This hymn is ringing through my ears...
 
 
All praise, honor, and glory to God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We worship an awesome God, who hears our prayers and answers.  Yesterday I got the results from my CT scan on Monday.  In May, we found out that my cancer had metastasized into several retro-peritenial lymph nodes.  Radiation was not an option, so we changed the chemo to one that is more aggressive, and yes , more toxic and has more challenging  side effects.  The lymph nodes began shrinking, or were stable in the next two scans.  Monday's scan showed, and I quote from the radiologist's report, "NO EVIDENCE OF METE STATIC DISEASE IN THE CHEST, ABDOMINAL, OR PELVIC AREAS" (those are the three regions they scan.  So that's right, NO CANCER EVIDENT!!!!!!!  Our God is an awesome God!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Where did the lymph nodes go????  I don't know, I was too busy taking it all in and praising God.  What have I learned....oh so very much....but perhaps most important, PRAY BOLDLY and BELIEVE.  To be perfectly honest, my prayers have been for God to allow the lymph nodes to continue to shrink, and that there would be no further spread of the cancer.  Then at the very end, I would pray for God to completely remove the cancer from my body and work a mighty miracle.  Why were my prayers lacking in the boldness, the honesty, the lay your heart out at His feet?  I don't know, I think I was afraid to ask for too much (crazy I know in my mind, but something I felt in my heart), maybe it was my doctor telling me that pancreatic cancer is incurable, and the best we could hope for would be to get it stable.  There is certainly room for my faith to grow, to learn to trust God to do the mighty things I know He can do.  What I do know is that from now on, I will pray BOLDLY, that God would continue to keep my body free of cancer, that I would grow stronger each day, that the side effects of my continuing chemo would be lessened as we begin to cut back the dose, and that I would look expectantly toward the future, free of fear, would you join me in praying and thanking God for this miracle, and boldly pray, that I will remain cancer-free?

Where do we go from here?  I have been on a chemo regimen of two different drugs.  One is an oral form of a chemo drug that I was on before my surgery.  I will stay on that drug for the near future.  It's most troubling side effect is peripheral neuropathy, a constant tingling and numbness in my fingers and feet.  This keeps me from doing the sewing and hand work that I love, and is made worse by the cold, so walking is difficult because I can't feel my feet strike the ground.  (Hence I now have a handicap parking permit so as to spend as little time in the cold, and avoid a fall....makes me feel old, and yet I am grateful for the chance to be able to get out independently!), The other drug causes my vision problems.  We began cutting that drug back yesterday.  Most patients begin having much more severe side effects with that drug after six months or so of treatment.  I am now in my seventh month, and so thankful to God that I will be able to continue for another month or two.  My next scan will be in three months.

 
Thanksgiving is coming, how appropriate, we will be praising, thanking and GIVING ALL GLORY to God.  Our married kiddos alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, and this year they will be in Minnesota for Thanksgiving so we will all be together.  I am so blessed.  We hope to make it to the lake for a "day away".  Christmas will be more low key with two of the three families away, but we are so thankful they get to share Christmas traditions with the "other side of their family".  Letting just the "nose of the cat" out of the bag, we are looking forward to welcoming a new grand baby late this spring; my niece is expecting her first around New Year's Day, and our son's brother and sister in law are expecting their first in May, and cousin, who lives here in Minnesota is expecting her third sweet bundle of boy in late April/early May.  If you know me, you know I treasure the promise of new life, even more so, after the past 14 months.  I look forward to praying over their pregnancies, the transitions to parenthood, welcoming these sweet "gifts from God", and holding, and loving on them.

We got the best news yesterday, better than we expected.  I wasn't fully trusting God, believing "big enough".  He answered my weak prayers, He knew what was one my heart without my even asking.  He heard each of your prayers too.  We are so blessed to be upheld by all of you, praying, believing.  We have, all of us experienced a miracle, yes a miracle, and only God, only God could perform that miracle.  He used His people to be His hands and feet, the doctors, the researchers, the medicines all worked together orchestrated by God, the Healer. 

Please, take a moment to thank God today, and if you would continue to pray BOLDLY that the cancer will not return.  And we would be honored if you would share our story with those who might be blessed by hearing it.

We have been blessed, may God also bless each of you.  May your Thanksgiving celebrations be special times, for those of you traveling, may God keep you safe.

With joy and thanksgiving,
Annie

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Quick Update

I just received this quick update from my mom. Thank you for your continued prayers...the days before and after a scan are always a challenge. May each of your hearts be blessed.
 
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  Phil. 4:6

That is our prayer for this week.  I have another scan on Monday, November 12th.  Mostly I an overwhelmed with the peace of God that I am experiencing, but I have to be honest, there are times when anxiety and fear creep in.  My chemo cycle this past two weeks has been much better.  I think we are finally beginning to figure out how to medicate to give me the best "quality of life" and I have had more energy to participate in what is going on around me. 

Thank you foryour prayers over the past few weeks, God hears, and thank you for praying over the scan next Monday.  I am so grateful for each and every one of you.  A more detailed update will follow next week after we get the scan results.

Be blessed,
Annie